Tag Archive: pd


I Failed ………

What to do when there is a break in a habit we have/are tried/ trying  hard in forming ? . Found this article apt , as I am struggling to re-form an old habit after a  break . Hope this helps me

Excerpt from I Failed By Leo Babauta

It’s a feeling deep within your heart, one you try to ignore, of heaviness. Of dread and discouragement. Of sadness and guilt and collapse.

I feel this heaviness in my chest when I fail.

It can make me feel like crying. I feel lonely and I want to give up. I want to fall on a bed and shut out the world. But that doesn’t work, because the feeling follows me into bed, and actually intensifies until finally I have to get out of bed to try to escape it.

Failure can hurt.

People get this idea about me, that I am successful and disciplined and gurulike. I’m successful at life, but not in the way people imagine. I’m not disciplined. I’m certainly no guru. I fail, all the time, and the heaviness can come in small doses or big waves, unpredictably.

What do I fail at? Let me count the ways:

  • My diet — I eat healthy most of the time, but I overeat when there’s an abundance of yummy food in front of me. I mostly remove that food from my life, but I can’t avoid social situations where the food is right there. When I overeat, I feel fat and bloated and bad about myself.
  • Procrastination — I’m actually much better at beating procrastination than I used to be, but sometimes I put off things I don’t feel like doing, for days. I’ve figured out this is because the task has a lot of barriers to actually starting, like needing certain conditions or information that I don’t immediately have.
  • Mindful parenting — I’ve made a lot of progress in being a more patient, compassionate father, but there are times when I snap and lose my temper. It’s not horrible, just not great. I always feel bad when I get mad at the kids.
  • Expectations — while I’m much better at holding loosely to my expectations, I still have them, and still feel frustrated/disappointed when people or situations don’t meet them.
  • Simplicity — I’m not as minimalist as I once was. I still have far, far less than most people, but I allow myself to buy things more than before. Also, I now have an iPhone — it was a Father’s Day gift from Eva. I resisted getting one for 6 years, and now am one of the masses.
  • Internet — I use the Internet for work, play, reading, learning, etc. I’m on it more than I should be, and sit too much (though I’m pretty active compared to the average person).
  • Learning — I dropped learning languages and programming and other things like this, mostly because I’ve found I just don’t have enough time to seriously learn stuff and still do the other things that are important to me.
  • Yoga — I really need some flexibility, and love yoga because it’s meditation and flexibility and a workout all rolled into one. I have not consistently done yoga despite being challenged by my friend Jesse.

I failed at all these things and more.

What Can Be Done

What can you do when you have the heavy feeling of failure in your heart? It’s not always so easy.

The answer, of course, is action. That’s not always easy because when you have the heavy feeling, you don’t feel like taking action.

You take the action anyway. You take it because you know if you don’t, you feel worse, and eventually your life degrades to the point where you don’t respect yourself anymore. You take the action anyway.

Here’s what I do:

  • I take a breath. It’s not the end of the world to fail. I just need some space, some distance. I need to see the problem in perspective. When I do, I realize that the failure is pretty minor in the grand scheme of my life, in the grand scheme of the world of lives around me.
  • I reframe the failure. Someone once said there isn’t failure, only feedback. That means the failure is just a point of information, a part of the learning process. I like to say, it’s not a failure of me as a person, just a failure of my method. Which means I need to change my method.
  • I change the method. If the way I was doing it didn’t work, I need to find a new way. What can I do differently? In some of the cases above, I added some accountability, asked people for help, or looked for inspiration. In some of the other cases, I haven’t changed the method yet, to be honest.
  • I take the first step. The problem can be overwhelming, because quite frankly we can’t solve any of this stuff overnight, or even in a few days. We can, however, take one step, right now. One tiny step. And that’s all that matters.

Take one step. Any step.

It lightens the heart. It shows you that things aren’t insurmountable or impossible. It starts to dissolve the discouragement and sadness and pain.

The single step you take today is the antidote to the soul-tearing effects of failure. It helps me, every day.

LINKS

  • http://www.youthkiawaaz.com/       India’s largest online and mobile platform for young people to talk about issues of importance and seek action on them.  Youth Ki Awaaz also runs  India’s first and only mobile platform for youth opinions that needs no smart phones or apps, goes beyond internet penetration and empowers people to share their opinions, and also take action by simply calling up 09310952952 and recording their opinions or report issues within 60 seconds.
  • http://www.selfgrowth.com/              Articles on  Self Improvement
  • http://laughingsquid.com/                 Found it somewhat similar to twistedsifter.com – blog featuring interesting art, culture & technology………
  • http://www.designsponge.com/       Design blog featuring DIY tips , weekly design obsessions , artists , textile designers etc. nice pics

My thoughts – I think rilke’s advice applies not only to budding poets but to all those in search of their true passion in life ………….. to delve into  their core …………….  and look for answers within …….. with a free mind   .

http://www.openculture.com/2013/03/dennis_hopper_reads_from_rainer_maria_rilkes_timeless_guide_to_creativity_iletters_to_a_young_poeti.html

“Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet is a great book,” Hopper says in this short film from 2007. “For me the letters are a credo of creativity and a source of inspiration. After reading Rilke it became clear to me that I had no choice in the matter. I had to create.” The ten-minute film, Must I Write?, was directed by Hermann Vaske and photographed by Rain Li. Hopper reads the first of the book’s ten letters, in which Rilke tells the young man to stop seeking approval from others:

You are looking outward, and that above all you should not do now. Nobody can help and counsel you, nobody. There is only one single way. Go into yourself. Search for the reason that bids you write; find out whether it is spreading out its roots in the deepest places in your heart, acknowledge to yourself whether you would have to die if it were denied you to write. This above all–ask yourself in the stillest hour of your night: must I write? Delve into yourself for a deep answer. And if this should be affirmative, if you may meet this earnest question with a strong and simple “I must,” then build your life according to this necessity; your life even into its most indifferent and slightest hour must be a sign of this urge and a testimony to it.

A work of art is good if it has sprung from necessity. In this nature of its origin lies the judgement of it: there is no other. Therefore, my dear sir, I know no other advice for you save this: to go into yourself and test the deeps in which your life takes rise; at its source you will find the answer to the question whether you must create. Accept it, just as it sounds, without inquiring into it. Perhaps it will turn out that you are called to be an artist.

Then take that destiny upon yourself and bear it, its burden and its greatness, without ever asking what recompense might come from outside. For the creator must be a world for himself and find everything in himself and in Nature to whom he has attached himself.

Happy Birthday, Agnes Martin: The Iconic Painter on Art, Solitude, and the Secret of Happiness

by

“Doing what you were born to do … That’s the way to be happy.”

Martin makes a case for finding your purpose and doing what you love:There are so many people who don’t know what they want. And I think that, in this world, that’s the only thing you have to know — exactly what you want. … Doing what you were born to do … That’s the way to be happy.

Adding to history’s famous definitions of art and echoing Susan Sontag on music, Martin observes:

Art is responded to with emotion … and the best art is music — that’s the highest form of art. It’s completely abstract, and we make about eight times as much response to music than any of the other arts.

She admonishes against the egocentricity of the artist:

The worst thing you can think about when you’re working is yourself.

Seconding Maira Kalman on the value of the empty brain, Martin professes:

I’m an empty mind. When something comes into it, you can see it.

She echoes Hemingway’s insistence on solitude:

The best things in life happen to you when you’re alone.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/12/28/richard-dawkins-letter-to-daughter/ – love

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/12/14/how-to-avoid-work/

The greatest satisfaction you can obtain from life is your pleasure in producing, in your own individual way, something of value to your fellowmen. That is creative living!

Actually, there is only one way in this world to achieve true happiness, and that is to express yourself with all your skill and enthusiasm in a career that appeals to you more than any other. In such a career, you feel a sense of purpose, a sense of achievement. You feel you are making a contribution. It is not work.

No matter what your age or condition or experience, the sooner you find out what you really want to do and do it better, for that’s the only way anyone can avoid work.

How Not To Worry

find this concept somewhat similar to indian philosophy………………….

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/03/18/you-can-master-life-1934

We should make ourselves stop trying to explain our own difficulties. Our first impulse is to try to account for them, figure out why what has happened did happen. Sometimes such an effort is beneficial: more often it is distinctly harmful. It leads to introspection, self-pity, and vain regret; and almost invariably it creates within us a dangerous mood of confusion and despair. Many of life’s hard situations cannot be explained. They can only be endured, mastered, and gradually forgotten. Once we learn this truth, once we resolve to use all our energies managing life rather than trying to explain life, we take the first and most obvious step toward significant accomplishment.

……………………. Gilkey revisits the subject through the lens of aging:

Only as we yield to the inexorable, only as we accept the situations which we find ourselves powerless to change, can we free ourselves from fatal inward tensions, and acquire that inward quietness amid which we can seek — and usually find — ways by which our limitations can be made at least partially endurable.

Why is [this] so difficult for most people? because most of us were told in childhood that the way to conquer a difficulty is to fight it and demolish it. That theory is, of course, the one that should be taught to young people. Many of the difficulties we encounter in youth are not permanent; and the combination of a heroic courage, a resolute will, and a tireless persistence will often — probably usually — break them down. But in later years the essential elements in the situation change. We find in our little world prison-walls which no amount of battering will demolish. Within those walls we must spend our day — spend them happily, or resentfully. Under these new circumstances we must deliberately reverse our youthful technique. We must gain victory, not by assaulting the walls, but by accepting them. Only when this surrender is made can we assure ourselves of inward quietness, and locate the net step on the road to ultimate victory.

nature , musings and hesse

my musings– one of the most  moving reflections on nature i’ve read thus far………………. it was eons ago   ,   that  i  read  hesse’s siddartha ( another one of many gems from thatha’s  collection) ………… this  hesse excerpt  makes  me wanna read it again ………anywayz  this article reiterates the fact   that nature is the best teacher …………if you are willing enough ( silent enough in your head)…………to listen

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/09/21/hermann-hesse-trees/

For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfill themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. ………………………….

When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. . . . Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.

 

 

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/11/20/daily-routines-writers/

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/02/11/sylvia-palth-on-life-death-hope-happiness/         * to know that millions of others are unhappy and that life is a gentleman’s agreement to grin and paint your face gay so others will feel they are silly to be unhappy, and try to catch the contagion of joy, while inside so many are dying of bitterness and unfulfillment. *                   the present is forever, and forever is always shifting, flowing, melting. This second is life. And when it is gone it is dead.  Nothing is real except the present, and already, I feel the weight of centuries smothering me.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/10/10/a-private-history-of-happiness/            a refreshing celebration of happiness encrusted not in the bombastic language of our self-help pop psychology culture, but in the quiet humility of the real, the lived, the timeless human experience.

It is extraordinary how powerful real, remembered happiness is, how deep and true its source. Our happiest lived experiences have the power to help us face the real world with all its difficulties. They exercise a power that the advertised, virtual images and phrases of perfection do not possess. Celebrity and consumption melt away at the merest hint of trouble, but real happiness carries us onward toward the next dawn.

In his short memoir circa 1212, Japanese poet and former courier Kamo no Chomei notes the joy of shared serenity in climbing to the top of a hill:

At the foot of the hill stands a wooden hut, which is where the hill’s care-taker resides. With him lives a young child who sometimes comes to visit me. When he has nothing else to do, he joins me for a stroll. he is sixteen and I am sixty; but although our ages are far apart, we take pleasure in the same things. Sometimes we pick grass and berries, or gather yams and parsley. Other times, we go down to the rice paddies at the foot of the hill, and make sheaves of the leftover ears.

On fine days we climb up to the peak; gazing at the distant sky over my old home, we see Mt. Kohata, Fushimi village, Toba and Hatsukashi. Nobody owns this view, and nothing will stop us from enjoying it […] Depending on the season, on the way home we gather cherry blossoms, or look for maple leaves, or snap off bracken, or pick fruit and nuts; some of these I offer to the Buddha, and some I take home with me.


http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/06/07/rip-ray-bradbury-quotes/            Love what you do and do what you love. Don’t listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it. You do what you want, what you love. Imagination should be the center of your life.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/09/12/ted-hughes-inner-child-letter/

The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else  really counts at all.

creativity and luck

BOOKS TO READ

How Proust Can Change Your Life (1997)
The Consolations of Philosophy (2000)
The Art of Travel (2002)
Status Anxiety (2004)
The Architecture of Happiness (2006)

Alain de Botton – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia »

 

An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison – review »

The clinical psychologist’s 1995 memoir of living with manic depression has yet to be surpassed

http://99u.com/articles/6775/is-consumerism-killing-our-creativity

Have you ever fallen into a black hole of comparison shopping? …………………….. As Annie Leonard says in The Story of Stuff, “Our primary identity has become that of being consumers – not mothers, teachers, or farmers, but of consumers. We shop and shop and shop.” We love our stuff. Yet more than the stuff itself, we love the act of finding it – the search, the anticipation………………………….Highly creative adults frequently grew up with hardship. Hardship by itself doesn’t lead to creativity, but it does force kids to become more flexible—and flexibility helps with creativity.
When we have less to work with, we have to be more creative. Think about that the next time the consumerist impulse is threatening to encroach on your creativity.

http://99u.com/articles/7292/More-Insights-on-Sharpening-Your-Creative-Mind

http://evelynrodriguez.typepad.com/crossroads_dispatches/2011/06/you-start-out-into-the-dark-strange-help-mates-come-along-joseph-campbell-ally.html If the path before you is clear, you’re pro“bably on someone else’s.” – Joseph Campbell….

“They thought it would be a disgrace to go forth in a group. Each entered the forest that he had chosen where there was no path and where it was darkest.” Now, if there’s a way or path, it’s someone else’s way; and the guru has a path for you. He knows where you are on it. He knows where he is on it, namely, way ahead. And all you can do is get to be as great as he is. This is a continuation of the dependency of childhood; maturity consists in outgrowing that and becoming your own authority for your life. And this quest for the unknown seems so romantic to Oriental people. What is unknown is the fulfillment of your own unique life, the likes of which has never existed on the earth. And you are the only one who can do it. People can give you clues how to fall down and how to stand up; but when to fall and when to stand, and when you are falling and when you are standing up, this only you can know.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/03/08/buckminster-fuller-synergetics/

Synergetics, a hefty tome of nearly 1,000 pages, is fascinating and mind-bending in its entirety. Complement it with Benjamin Betts’s Geometrical Psychology from nearly a century earlier and Bertrand Russell’s Education and the Good Life.

Children freed of the ignorantly founded educational traditions and exposed only to their spontaneously summoned, computer-stored and -distributed outflow of reliable-opinion-purged, experimentally verified data, shall indeed lead society to its happy egress from all misinformedly conceived, fearfully and legally imposed, and physically enforced customs of yesterday. They can lead all humanity into omnisuccessful survival as well as entrance into an utterly new era of human experience in an as-yet and ever-will-be fundamentally mysterious Universe.

https://i0.wp.com/www.brainpickings.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/synergetics.jpg https://i1.wp.com/www.brainpickings.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/milton_millman.jpg

books to read

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2011/03/21/must-read-books-music-emotion-brain/What Freud has to do with auditory cheesecake, European opera and world peace.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2011/01/25/must-read-books-happiness/From Plato to Buddha, or what imperfection has to do with the neuroscience of the good life.

i think russell shud hav been added to the list – https://excerptsandm.wordpress.com/2011/05/08/the-conquest-of-happiness-bertrand-russell/

quotes,pics,yoga

https://i2.wp.com/25.media.tumblr.com/07ec5514eff9c46096f2fbcdd2e5722d/tumblr_mh7gg2i0631r9ouy2o1_500.jpg

https://i0.wp.com/25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5s92sxjbk1qcirk4o1_500.jpg   https://i0.wp.com/25.media.tumblr.com/b1fa5c15fda7f46ad51c16386378bd20/tumblr_miqobrncNg1qcirk4o1_500.jpg   https://i1.wp.com/25.media.tumblr.com/ac31f9c476c092d996cadf27844a4d3a/tumblr_mikz2r09vU1rtbxrwo1_500.jpg  https://i2.wp.com/24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m00tjcqYyE1rqpa8po1_500.png

https://i1.wp.com/24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m062ssW8Wo1qmxawco1_500.png              https://i1.wp.com/24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6wuvgNGd61qcirk4o1_400.pnghttps://i0.wp.com/24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvbm5yvb1q1qj2u1wo1_400.png

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How to stay creative etc.

http://zenhabits.net/fb/ –    Walled-in: Life Without Facebook

http://zenhabits.net/7y/ Create the Habits of Being Lean, in 7 Years

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photography , q

https://i2.wp.com/25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkc4xpZSZ11qzyko4o1_500.png     https://i0.wp.com/24.media.tumblr.com/9ea28d8bb069dfa3caa182441b57fd98/tumblr_mhsa0qTwMf1qaobbko1_500.jpg

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q

  

                        “Follow your pattern, in humility-and hope.”