Very Useful Rules for Living Stolen from Olivia Joules

1

Never Panic. Stop, breathe, think.

2

No one is thinking about you, They’re thinking about themselves, just like you.

3

Never change a haircut or colour before an important event.

4

Nothing is either as bad or as good as it seems.

5

Do as you would be done by, eg, thou shalt not kill.

6

It is better to buy one expensive thing that you really like (and can afford) than several cheap ones that you only quite like.

7

Hardly anything matters. If you get upset, ask yourself: “Does it really matter?”

8

The key to success lies in how you pick yourself up from failure.

9

Be kind and honest.

10

Only buy clothes that make you feel like doing a small dance.

11

Trust your instincts, not your overactive imagination.

12

When overwhelmed by disaster, check if it’s really a disaster by doing the following: a) think “Oh f*** it”; b) attmpt to turn it into an amusing anecdote. If none of the above works, then maybe it is a disaster, so turn to items one (1) and five (5).

13

Don’t expect the work  to be safe or life to be fair.

14

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

15

Don’t regret anything. Remember there wasn’t anything else that could have happened who you were and the state of the world at that moment. The only thing you can change is the present, so learn from the past.

16

If you start regretting something and start thinking, “I should have done…”, always add: “But then I might have been run over by a runaway lorry. Or crushed by a falling grand piano.”