Category: articles


World Bicycle day

The United Nations has declared June 3rd as International World Bicycle Day, by adopting a resolution on April 12th 2018, during the 72nd Regular Session of the UN General Assembly.

https://www.thehindu.com/life-and-style/four-cyclists-travelling-the-world-with-a-mission/article27371466.ece

https://www.thehindu.com/life-and-style/dhruv-bogra-on-surviving-some-of-the-worlds-deadliest-terrains/article27372625.ece/photo/2/

https://www.racked.com/2016/3/14/11173148/kinfolk-lifestyle-magazines

Unlike reading a newspaper, reading a lifestyle magazine is more an aesthetic than functional choice, a way of pursuing higher, or at least less immediate, interests like art, fashion, food, and good manners.

Lifestyle magazines are treated as light fare, but they fulfill the deeper purpose of helping us define ourselves. A publication like Godey’s Lady’s Book, founded by Louis A. Godey in Philadelphia in 1830, included fiction and poetry, as well as recipes and how-to guides outlining a “moral, maternal lifestyle —€” this is how women should be,” Haveman says. Editors published letters from loyal readers, and a consensus about how to live a particular kind of life formed over time.

What separates true lifestyle magazines from the likes of Harper’s, the New Yorker, or even N+1, which might obliquely define certain ways of life, is the sense of commodified identity that can be found in a publication like Cosmopolitan, described by founding editor Paul Schlicht as a “family magazine” when it launched in 1886.

The lifestyle magazine demonstrates what to consume as well as how to behave, and this ethos has informed how newspapers define their lifestyle content as well. In the 1950s, the New York Times summarized its women’s pages as “Food, Fashion, Family, and Furnishings.” Jacqui Shine’s comprehensive essay on The Awl shows how the women’s pages gradually evolved into a “Living Style” section that the Times launched in 1978, now known simply as Styles, with its signature “ambiguous variety of cultural reporting and criticism,” as Shine writes, a mix that continues to define lifestyle editorial today.

It’s worth noting that many popular lifestyle entities were, and continue to be, directed at women; the relationship to the domestic often means that the term itself is unfairly gendered. However, it is in fact an equal opportunity genre. GQ and Esquire became the dominant lifestyle magazines for men during the later 20th century, with “lad mags” like Maxim and FHM flaring up in the ’90s. Still more titles are unisex.

The category might be best summed up by what Adam Moss called the New York Times Magazine‘s iconic front-of-book section under his editorship in the 1990s: “The Way We Live Now.” (Though the Times Magazine isn’t a lifestyle magazine, Moss’s FOB section as well as his current domain, New York magazine, reflect an aspirational urban mode of living.) The successful lifestyle magazine is a mirror that reflects the trends of our times back at us, only a little prettier, more polished, and less complicated. It is “designed to either turn one’s life’s preferences into cliches, or turn cliches into your life preferences,” says Mental Floss executive editor Foster Kamer —€” often both at the same time.

Kinfolk’s Kin

Many independent print magazines populate Kinfolk’s wake. They often share its minimalist design, heavy stock, and serene photography, but each presents a slightly different shade of lifestyle. Here, a short list.

Alpine Modern: A Boulder, Colorado-based magazine, store, and cafe focusing on the concept of “elevated living,” both literal and figurative.

Smith Journal: An Australian quarterly that covers a quirky mix of “thinkers, adventurers, and makers.”

Four & Sons: A print and online publication “where dogs and culture collide” documenting a canine-friendly lifestyle.

Cereal: This Bristol, U.K. quarterly concerns “travel and style,” including branded accessories and city guides sold alongside the magazine.

Another Escape: “An outdoor lifestyle, creative culture, and sustainable living publication that explores the stories of passionate people.”

Drift: A New York-based title about “coffee, the people who drink it, and the cities they inhabit,” with truly insane column widths.

Les Others: A biannual French magazine and digital platform focusing on “fresh air and creativity.”

Provencial: This American quarterly’s mission is to “encourage a lifestyle of balance with a clear and intentional delineation between work and rest.”

 

By the mid-2000s, lifestyle magazines had become multi-platform lifestyle brands, moving from providing readers a sense of intangible community to creating the non-editorial products readers actually consume in order to solidify that sense of belonging. You can now buy a Monocle cardigan or croissant, or live in a pre-fab home designed by the shelter magazine Dwell. Print may have become less relevant with the advent of the internet, but businesses pushing aesthetically-conscious consumption are even more relevant as we document our every move on Snapchat and Instagram.

But it’s meant to be looked at more than read. The magazine’s large format, embossed serif logo, striking covers, and heavy stock have come to define the latest generation of lifestyle magazines. It’s now possible to find Kinfolk clones covering everything from mountain climbing to fatherhood to the joys of dog ownership. The copycats only serve to magnify the sense that Kinfolk really is everywhere.


Kinfolk itself is content with staying mysterious; it’s part of the brand. The company doesn’t release news about itself, and its websites are comically light on background information. After a month’s worth of emails, however, Nathan Williams agrees to meet for lunch near the magazine’s new headquarters in Copenhagen. (Still under renovation, the office is not yet “a comprehensive representation of the brand,” the communications director Jessica Gray warns me.) I book a flight departing a few days later and land in a wintry city, the sky flat and gray like matte paper.

Williams’s careful posture and soft voice seem of a piece with his upbringing. He often pauses to think about or check on his words. During these pauses, he purses his mouth, glances into the distance, and then soldiers on, having confirmed the proper valence of his sentence, often murmuring “yeah” in agreement with himself.

The late aughts could be considered an apogee for lifestyle blogging, a more diaristic and less nakedly monetized medium than its print equivalent, and Mormons led the charge.

 

Beyond its Mormon credo, Williams chose BYU Hawaii for its strong international business program, helped along by a scholarship offer. There, Williams studied economics in the footsteps of his father, an economics professor, “but I knew that I wasn’t really going to find something in that field I would enjoy.”

The late aughts could be considered an apogee for lifestyle blogging, a more diaristic and less nakedly monetized medium than its print equivalent, and Mormons led the charge. That was when Dooce and its proprietor Heather Armstrong, “queen of the mommy bloggers,” as the New York Times described her, hit peak popularity; Armstrong had attended Brigham Young University in Utah, but left the church before turning to blogging.

 

A spread from Kinfolk‘s winter 2016 design issue. Photo: Ouur Media

Mormon lifestyle blogging also intersected with the peak of flanneled artisanal hipsterdom that occurred around the same time. A 2012 article in Trinity College’s Religion in the News chalked this up to the recession. Without money to spend, “millennials have begun to look towards social gratification as a means of self-worth,” doubling down on close circles of friends and shopping at thrift stores for retro fashion.

The idea was to create a title that did talk about things we thought were important, a focus on community, slowing down, quality of life.”

 

 

The Copenhagen studio of Stine Gam and Enrico Fratesi was featured in the summer 2015 issue. Photo: Anders Schønnemann

 

With issue sales mounting into the tens of thousands, the team moved to Portland in September 2012, where they brought their staff up to a dozen and launched an event series that saw official Kinfolk dinner parties hosted all over the world. These were documented in easily parodied videos in which, for example, a picnic table perfectly set for 12 suddenly appears atop a picturesque cliff that the attractive diners later leap off of into the ocean.

Kinfolk hit a cultural nerve that went far beyond the print magazine. “I don’t think we created anything new, maybe it’s just collected in a certain spot and presented in a certain way,” Williams says. “How many people post and share Kinfolk on Instagram, it’s kind of bizarre. It turned into its own beast that we have no control over.” Williams doesn’t have a personal Instagram and the official magazine account only posts once or twice a week, but #kinfolk is used about once a minute.

the magazine’s oppressive neatness also seemed like a mold followers had to fit into, performing m for the sake of an Instagram photo. “Everyone feels like every little part of their life has to be perfect. Nothing looks real anymore,” he continues. “You spend 20 minutes setting up your morning coffee with a copy of Kinfolk on a marble countertop.”


 

The editor is acutely aware of his magazine’s reputation. “We have our haters. There’s definitely a misconception that Kinfolk is more of an aesthetic and less of a,” Williams pauses at length before continuing, “company, or publication with at least some substance. The idea that some folks think it’s full of editorials of girls running through daisy fields with flower crowns, which, it’s not. God, no.”

Kinfolk‘s editorial mission has morphed into a larger pursuit of what Williams calls “intentionality”: “figuring out what’s most important to us and then finding a way to actually spend our time and energy on those things.” As Doug Bischoff puts it, “It’s kind of self-help content, but done in a way that appeals to our readership, paired with interesting writing and art direction.”

A Parisian dining room shot for the design issue. Photo: Anders Schønnemann

The magazine confronts our never-ending search for authentic connection, particularly in the internet era. “We’re on our laptops, on our phones all the time, that in itself is fine,” Williams says. “But the flip side is that it does create an appetite for real life, for relationships, for genuine bonds with the people around us. Kinfolk leverages that appetite.” For the duration of our lunch, Williams’s out-of-date iPhone doesn’t emerge from his pocket once.

This notion of authenticity has resonated around the world. Sales were strong in Japan even from the initial issues, and media companies there as well as in China, Korea, and Russia eventually inked syndication deals to translate and produce their own editions of Kinfolk, with careful oversight from the Portland team. Through an agent in Japan, the company hooked up with the local brand Actus to produce a line of clothing, austere outfits that a friend of mine visiting Tokyo described as “a cross between Muji and Everlane,” as well as a series of ascetic housewares, both under the label Ouur Collection. With the name “Ouur,” “the idea is we’re bringing together likeminded designs and ideas,” Williams says. But the significance of the name “just kind of turned into bogus.”

Ouur is modeling itself on businesses like BuzzFeed, Vice, and Vox (parent company to Racked), among many other media companies subsidizing their original editorial content with creative studio branches.


 

The lifestyle was better in Denmark, too. As Kinfolk might also imagine its readers, the Danes perennially rank among the happiest people in the world. “The work-life balance, it’s definitely a good fit for that. Most Danes don’t work past 3,” Williams says. Alongside the Danish emphasis on family, which Bischoff appreciates as he and his wife raise their two small children, there’s a “borderline laziness,” he says, then stops short. “I shouldn’t say that. They know how to spend their time wisely.”

“Even their ‘Imperfect’ issue was perfect in every way, shape, and form.”

Williams changed along with his company. As recently as 2012, he identified with Mormonism, but no longer does, nor does Katie (Doug and Paige Bischoff are the only two Mormons left on staff, Williams later writes over email). When I ask him to elaborate, he declines, preferring to leave religion out of the conversation. It’s clear, however, that Kinfolk has also become more inclusive.

I ask Williams if these editorial shifts were an intentional effort to change the magazine’s early notoriety as a bastion of white hipsterdom. “The first few issues it was really just an oversight,” he says. “If 90 percent of our shoots are happening in Copenhagen, Stockholm, Portland, I know people don’t like to hear it, but they’re actually not very diverse communities. That’s no excuse. You make it work, you figure out how to properly represent your readership. That’s what we’re doing now.”

Yet there remains a sanctimoniousness to Kinfolk. It portrays a right way of doing things set against an invisible wrong, packaging anxieties over topics like family, friendship, and connection in the guise of rustic tablescapes and drapey garments. Even if its models are more diverse, the magazine still has a pervasive air of whiteness about it, in the overall aesthetic homogeneity and the quest for a self-professed “purity.” As photographer Andrew Lee notes, “even their ‘Imperfect’ issue was perfect in every way, shape, and form.”

Kinfolk still offers a one-size-fits-all-who-seek-it lifestyle solution with little tolerance for mess. The increasingly rarified image of luxurious simplicity that it projects is far from possible, desirable, or even recognizable for everyone.

 


A few days after meeting Williams, I moved from my hotel into an apartment in Nørrebro, a hip neighborhood across the river from downtown Copenhagen. An open studio with tall ceilings and expansive windows, it’s described as “Boheme New Yorker style” on Airbnb. As I wandered across Copenhagen from artisanal coffee shop to curated bookstore, I thought about why I want the things I want: an industrial loft apartment, a precisely poured cortado, intimate dinner parties —€” all things that show up in Kinfolk.

I learned these aspirations through magazines, novels, television shows, and the tastes of my friends. Lined up, they seem like the punchline of a joke at my own expense, the reduction of an identity to a few arbitrary objects, and yet I feel an unjustifiable loyalty to them as mine.

I stop in Atelier September, a cafe and furniture boutique in a stately old storefront. With soft lighting, mid-century modern designs, and marble countertops, it exudes characteristically Danish hygge, the trendy term for coziness. But my mind kept wandering back to Kinfolk, which had become a kind of scrim warping everything in its own image.

From a beatific barista I order avocado toast, a culinary trope of the magazine’s audience. It had a local twist, the avocado shellacked like fish scales on dark Danish rye bread, and tasted transcendentally good. Maybe it was the jet lag, but bathed in the mild light of the gray day falling on the marble, I momentarily felt like a better person, or at least more like myself. Then I Instagrammed my cappuccino and it shot past 30 likes, a personal hit.

A lifestyle is made up of a shared vernacular. My Instagram was so popular because my friends recognized a quiet coffee in a foreign city as a badge of the lifestyle that we aspire to. Perhaps these days we demonstrate our mutual recognition by exchanging likes rather than buying magazine subscriptions. Aspiration is mediated by digital technology rather than print. We model our lifestyle goals in Instagram photos because the medium is so accessible. We can publicly participate in our chosen lifestyles all the time, constantly signaling our belonging and getting affirmation in return, creating our own communities rather than waiting for the directions of an editor.

This is ultimately why Kinfolk worked so well. It created a lifestyle with familiar, do-it-yourself tokens —€” the unfinished wood tables and mason jars and dinner parties —€” fit for a world in recession, and subsumed them within an iconic visual style that was equally easy to participate in through social media. Kinfolk also came into existence just as we started using platforms like Instagram aspirationally, translating the aesthetics of the glossy print page onto the even glossier screen and making them our own in the process. As Williams admits, he lost control of what “Kinfolk” communicated. It means more to people as a label than as a substantive movement or even a magazine.

Photo by Anders Schønnemann for Racked

The #Kinfolk community is united less by particular ideas about how to live than a superficial visual style. It enforces monotony rather than embracing differences of identity. The same emblems of aspiration can now be found in Brooklyn or Copenhagen as easily as Tokyo, Lisbon, London, or Istanbul, and Kinfolk is always there to provide them, piggybacking on the meme it has become.

The challenge that Williams and Ouur face is how to reclaim an image of self-affirming authenticity when the perspective that once made them unique is now universal. It’s the hipster paradox: you can’t be both nonconformist and part of a massive, global group.

“Convergence is possible only at the price of shedding identity,” architect Rem Koolhaas wrote in his 1995 book, The Generic City. “Identity is like a mousetrap in which more and more mice have to share the original bait, and which, on closer inspection, may have been empty for centuries.”


There’s a kind of schadenfreude to watching the meaning drain from a lifestyle aesthetic, in the fading relevance of latte art and avocado toast. Lifestyle is like high fashion —€” you can only chase it in its wake, catching fleeting moments. I started to wonder what Williams himself was chasing, so I met him again one night at his office.

The editor doesn’t live an immaculate Kinfolk life. Williams watches Seinfeld at home after work and follows along with the latest potboiler TV: The Good Wife, The Black List. Rather than novels, he reads the usual business books on entrepreneurship, leadership, and running a creative team. But he still has to determine how Ouur will direct the Kinfolk-y aspirations of its audience, present and future. The vision of a lifestyle must constantly be refined, made to appear effortless, timely, authentic, and unaware of its own artificiality. To better explain his goals, Williams shared a moment of clarity he had experienced earlier that day.

Joni Mitchell

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/09/joni-mitchells-openhearted-heroism 

All she needed was her lyrics, preternaturally analytic, wry, and shrewd; her chords, largely self-invented, a kind of calligraphy of the moods; and her voice, which modulates from patter to rue to rhapsody in a single phrase. In concert, she sometimes trained her attention on a single listener in the front row, casting the stranger as the vivid “you” of a song who in real life may have been Sam Shepard, James Taylor, or Leonard Cohen. The best pop music is often preening and shamanic.

This photo of a Danish kitchen appears in The Kinfolk Home. Photo

excerpts from  https://the-shooting-star.com/2013/08/01/10-life-lessons-from-2-years-of-travelling/

We take life too seriously.Most of us have been brought up and set in such moulds of what our life should look like by the time we’re thirty, that we forget it’s okay to mess up and live a little. Meeting people both in my own backyard and halfway across the world made me realize that you don’t always have to be running and aspiring for something more. That more than a steady job, a posh apartment, a promotion, a life partner, or even a to-do list, it’s more fulfilling to have a life that you’ve thoroughly enjoyed.

Freedom is underrated.

At some point after I quit my job (Read: The Story of How I Quit My Job to Travel) and gave up any semblance of a regular schedule, I started to wonder why so many people, my family included, couldn’t appreciate the sense of freedom I felt everyday. Then I met a fisherman in Mauritius who chose not to work in a factory for more money like his friends, because he loved the sea and could choose not to work on some days and still feed his family (Read: What a Fisherman Taught Me About Paradise). It was his philosophy that made me more sure of mine.

Possessions are overrated.While moving to Delhi from Singapore two years ago, I had accumulated a few suitcases worth of stuff, from six years of living there. I decided to get rid of most of it, though not without the gnawing feeling that I was going to miss it. The truth? A month from then, I didn’t even remember what stuff I had left behind. I’m in the process of instituting a big change in my life after August, and this time I’ll be more than happy to get rid of the things I certainly don’t need.

Karma can bitch-slap you.You know when you go all out to help a friend and then they brutally backstab you? That’s kind of what karma has done to me recently. I won’t go into details, but I think I’ve learnt my lesson right here in the travel industry. You can either do the right thing or be politically correct, and while both have their consequences, it’s not true that doing the right thing can’t screw you over. That’s just how life is.

Strangers are kind.I’ve trashed all those horror stories that end with the lesson, don’t talk to strangers. If I had a penny for every time I’ve been overwhelmed with the kindness of a stranger on my travels, I’d be a millionaire. Families with so little in small villages in India have shared their meals and life stories with me. People in Turkey opened up their homes and hearts to this stranger from Hindistan (Read: So Long, Turkey). The hospitality of an Aussie expat in Mauritius and a French-Mauritian couple in Rodrigues blew me over. And I haven’t yet experienced anything close to the warmth of the Bahraini people (Read: Land of a Thousand Friends). So trust your gut, but let strangers show you what a kind world we live in.

Happiness is not the goal.I always thought that the leap of faith I took two years ago, to live and travel on my own terms, would take me closer to the illusive feeling of happiness. And it has. But happiness is such a fleeting feeling. Happiness for me was a drunk man on a lonely road in Sri Lanka stopping and shining the torch in our direction, till we found our way back to our guesthouse. Happiness was walking into a bakery in Turkey to ask for directions, and having the owner pull out his truck to give me a ride. The memories of these moments last, but happiness itself doesn’t. Recently a friend told me, we’re not people who can be happy. We’re just drifters. It’s true.

Irish best-selling writer, Marian Keyes, on how she survived her spell of poor mental health. And how life changed after it

Helen Walsh, the youngest of Marian Keyes’ fictional Walsh sisters, is a brave, scrappy, wasp-tongued slip of a thing who works as a private investigator, dates a “beautiful Viking” called Artie and is “abnormally, almost psychotically contrary”. She is also highly depressed.

On a Skype call from Ireland, Keyes explains why it was Helen, heroine of her 2012 novel The Mystery of Mercy Close, who had to wrestle the black dog. “People have been asking for a book on Helen, but I didn’t think it was possible,” says the best-selling author, whose books are, “always about women who go through something unpleasant and emerge different”. Therein lay the problem as far as Helen was concerned. “Helen has a core of steel. Nothing frightens her and I couldn’t imagine her heart being broken by a man. So, there had to be something almost outside of her that would be her story.”

Then, by the end of 2009, Keyes encountered crippling depression that lasted almost four years. “When I wrote the book, I was going through my own spell of horrible mental health, and it suddenly seemed right that Helen would be dealing with this, too,” she says. By February 2011, she had hit an all-time low, “an 18-month spell where everything plunged”.
Being Marian

On being a feminist
I am very aware of the power imbalance between men and women. And every book I have written, has addressed it in some way or another. I suppose I was a feminist without knowing that I was one.
On the Walsh family
We are five siblings with big personalities like them. And yes, Mammy Walsh is similar to Mammy Keyes.
On the book she is working on
I have just started a book about three brothers and the women in their lives. They all have secrets, something happens and many of the secrets unravel one evening. Hopefully, it will be received with warmth and people will laugh.
On creating flawed protagonists
I think absolutes can exist only in an unreal world. There are no entirely good people and no entirely bad people. We all do things that clash with our core moral values.
On writing
My writing connects me to people. I feel very lucky to have found what I was meant to do.

.

Simply herself

Marian Keyes always loved reading and storytelling, but she never thought she could make a career of it. “Also, I thought because I was Irish, nobody would want to hear my stories. I didn’t think we were interesting enough,” says Keyes, whose soft, lilted voice gives away her Celtic roots.

Instead, she went on to study law and accountancy and take up a series of jobs, none of which gave her much pleasure. Alcohol seemed to, instead, and she soon developed a dependence on it. “I always felt different, like a bit of an outsider. But when I drank, I felt the way normal people feel all the time,” she says.

By 30, she was alcoholic and ended up having to check into rehab, like Rachel Walsh, protagonist of her second novel, Rachel’s Holiday. “I thought it was going to be very glamorous and full of massages and treatments and yoga. Instead, it was overcrowded and I had to peel potatoes,” she laughs.

[5mpmarianbook]

Not just Irish Blarney

It was around this time that she started writing. “I do think the two were connected — I started writing in September 1993 and got sober in 1994,” says Keyes, whose first book, Watermelon, came out in 1995. A dozen or so more novels about other “ordinary women who go through extraordinary stuff”, soon followed. happily-ever-after ending, leaves you feeling all warm and happy.

“It is the way I was brought up, a very Irish thing,” says Keyes. Laughing at something painful, once you get a distance from it, is healing, believes Keyes. It is also a way of knowing how well you have gotten, “when you look back at something terrible and can raise a smile”.

Saved by cake

Keyes says that she tried a number of things including medication, mindfulness and exercise but help came from the strangest of sources: cake. Her book Saved by Cake: Over 80 ways to Bake Yourself Happy, a chatty, colourful recipe book of sorts, also offers glimpses of her struggle with depression and explains how embarking on this new hobby — baking — kept her going. “It is impossible to overstate how important it was; it literally kept me alive,” says Keyes. Weighing butter, sifting flour, mixing things together, working with colour and icing was an exercise in mindfulness, she remembers. “It was the only thing that calmed me back then.”

By 2014, however, the depression went away, just as suddenly as it had come. “The clouds parted and I could feel like I was coming up from a dark, dark place,” she says. She still thinks of it as an illness that both came and left very suddenly. “I never thought I would feel normal again. And that is why I love to tell people — anyone who is in the black hole now — to hang on.”

[5moMarianKeyesShot04775h1]

She is immeasurably better today, she says, adding, however, that “it is impossible to have come out of something as huge as this and stay the same”. She backs out of stressful situations, for instance, refusing opportunities or cutting back on work and travel if needed. “Earlier, I was always exhausted because I pushed myself. Now, I live my life and have more fun; I see the beauty and happiness in the small things,” says the writer. “My mental health is more important than anything else and I value feeling normal.”

http://www.thehindu.com/society/a-strangeness-in-our-mind-a-bipolar-journalist-asks-what-is-sanity/article20103052.ece

Madness is miserable, yes, but it makes sanity an ideal. Dialogue, I learnt, is more effective a cure than discourse

It is precisely this separation of the personal and the political that further exacerbates the despair of those afflicted by mental health disorders. By reducing internal turmoil to a set of physical symptoms, commentators like Joseph make it harder for patients to exceed their suffering.

Only sanity can help one transform the terror of madness into delight, but sanity, I would argue, can only be found in an embrace of the other. Confinement, when solitary, does not afford levity or reconciliation.

Boxes , Labels and Qs

https://www.buzzfeed.com/genamourbarrett/things-single-girls-are-tired-of-hearing?utm_term=.rv6g244aAO#.omrBwLLDY2

http://viralstories.in/breaking-44-typical-indian-stereotypes-stop-presuming-everything/

 

You literally asked me this question two weeks ago. Aren't you tired of asking yet?

Miramax Films / Via giphy.com

You literally asked me this question two weeks ago. Aren’t you tired of asking yet?

. “Isn’t there someone that you at least like?”

Sorry to disappoint.

Logo / Via nesoxochi.tumblr.com

Sorry to disappoint.

. “Why are you still single?”

Do I have to have a special reason? It just is what it is.

Fox Searchlight Pictures / Via anamorphosis-and-isolate.tumblr.com

Do I have to have a special reason? It just is what it is.

. “I know you’re probably looking for a partner, but I just want to be friends.”

Just because I'm single doesn't mean I want to date you. Please get over yourself.

ABC / Via giphy.com

. “You need to stop being so picky.”

Bravo / Via giphy.com

. “Maybe you need to change your attitude.”

Via giphy.com

9. “Stop looking for love and let love come to you!”

Life-changing advice. Never heard that before, thank you.

Bravo / Via giphy.com

Life-changing advice. Never heard that before, thank you.

. “When are you going to get married?”

NBC / Via giphy.com

. “What about kids? Are kids on the cards any time soon?”

What? No. Stop asking that.

Citytv / Via giphy.com

What? No. Stop asking that.

. “Time is running out, you know.”

Bravo / Via giphy.com

. “How long have you actually been single for?”

Does it matter?

VH1 / Via giphy.com

Does it matter?

. “Don’t you get lonely? I’d get so bored if I was single.”

That could be more because you have a boring life than the fact you have a partner, but cool.

Fox / Via giphy.com

That could be more because you have a boring life than the fact you have a partner, but cool.

 “You should start a new hobby to meet people.”

NBC / Via fiercegifs.tumblr.com

. “You need to put yourself out there!”

Bravo / Via giphy.com

. “If you’re not careful, you’ll end up as a crazy cat lady.”

GREAT! I LOVE CATS. They're so fluffy and don't ask stupid questions.

Bravo / Via giphy.com

GREAT! I LOVE CATS. They’re so fluffy and don’t ask stupid questions.

. “I know someone I can set you up with!”

Lord no. Please, no. I'm fine.

ABC / Via giphy.com

Lord no. Please, no. I’m fine.

 “You should try Tinder/OkCupid/Match.com. Have you tried them? Have you?”

I have received enough dick pics to tell you that yes indeed I have tried them, thanks. Not for me.

NBC / Via giphy.com

. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea! Speaking of fish, have you joined Plenty of Fish yet?”

Arghhhfsohgehgughehu, go away.

Oxygen / Via giphy.com

Arghhhfsohgehgughehu, go away.

. “I think it’s so great you’re so comfortable with being on your own.”

Yeah, thanks, I'm a great inspiration to all of womankind. *rolls eyes*

FOX / Via giphy.com

Yeah, thanks, I’m a great inspiration to all of womankind. *rolls eyes*

 “Why do girls make such a big fuss over getting a partner anyway?”

Maybe it's because people like you keep asking them when they're going to get one? Maybe.

Via giphy.com

Maybe it’s because people like you keep asking them when they’re going to get one? Maybe.

 

    . Because it’s not the dress code here..

    stereotype 1

     

    2. Because there are actually people who are truly self-made..

    stereotype 4

     

    3. Because it doesn’t require a marriage certificate…

    stereotype 12

     

    5. Because it’s travelling a she likes not necessarily binging.

    stereotype 7

     

    6. Because they are as much a part of this country as you and me.

    stereotype 21

     

    7. Because reading could be loved by anyone..

    stereotype 27

     

    8. Because language is only a medium of communication..

    stereotype 32

     

    9. Because they are not the descendants of Jaadu

    stereotype 36

     

    10. Because even we aren’t Italian and still love pizza…

    stereotype 45

     

    11. Because, even Star City is a bike….

    stereotype 26

     

    12. Because being a Punjabi doesn’t stand for Patiala pegs..

    stereotype 44

     

    13. Because a good art can never remain hidden…

    stereotype 48

     

    14. Because ek ladka aur ek ladki sirf dost nahin ho sakte was just a dialogue from a movie….

    stereotype 50

     

    15. Because no doubt girls like to shop but they too like to be self-dependent just as you guys….

    stereotype 22

     

    16. Because fashion is just about defining yourself… Not your definition.

    stereotype 40

     

    17. Because even we are Indians and it’s not our mother tongue either…

    stereotype 15

     

    18. Because even they need to reach for work on time…

    stereotype 17

     

    19. Because being Mother India doesn’t require running about the trees dancing…

    stereotype

     

    20. Because doing what you love doesn’t alter your gender…

    stereotype 35

     

    21. Because the RTO didn’t deny license me on the grounds that I’m a female…

    stereotype 33

     

    22. Because poems need a conscious mind…

    stereotype 41

     

    23. Because the canteen also offers other things…

    stereotype 38

     

    24. Because you always have a choice to move elsewhere…

    stereotype

     

     

    . Because respecting women isn’t community specific…

    stereotype

     

    27. Because sooti saree is not the precondition to helping the society…

    stereotype

     

    28. Because even she filled ‘good handwriting’ books in school…

    stereotype

     

    29. Because not all have a questionable taste in music…

    stereotype

     

     Because it’s neither fair not lovely to be a racist….

     

    stereotype

     

     Because no degree can force you to not take up your dreams…

    stereotype

     

    32. Because your taste buds do not know which state you belong to…

    stereotype

     

     Because you only marry once and with your own species…

    stereotype

     

    . Because if you ever passed your primary school you would know Madrasi is just for Tamil Nadu residents; and that’s just one of the states from South India…

    stereotype

     

    . Because Delhi is not an another name for Sick Perverts Club…

    stereotype

     

    Because it gets paid to be skilled….

    stereotype

     

     Because what people tend to confuse modernism to with short skirts is just westernisation….

    stereotype

     

    . Because I could actually uproot a hand-pump and blown your head way…

    stereotype

     

    . Because all love comfort over style…it’s not just a phrase…

    stereotype

     

    41. Because loving blue doesn’t make you a lesbian….

    stereotype

     

    42. Because 10 rupaiye ke liye se jhik jhik even I don’t like….

    stereotype

     

    43. Because it doesn’t cost anything to make someone laugh either…

    stereotype

     

     Because red is also the colour of danger…

    stereotype

    Fridays in France: Six Decadent Places in Bordeaux

    The Decadence Project: Bordeaux France

    #1:  The Burdigala Hotel

    Burdigala Hotel3First, let’s check into the ultra-chic Burdigala Hotel and let the refined elegance of the five-star oasis cover us like a soft cashmere blanket. Feel that? Ahhhh, that’s relaxation at its finest.

    hotelEvery inch of the Burdigala is classy and chic, yet comfortable. No pretenses here, just lovely luxury.

    Burdigala Hotel2At La Bacchus Bar inside the hotel, the region’s delicious wines are samples and nibbles served.

    Burdigala Hotel4Every room, from the “regular” to the opulent suites, are designed to make you feel like you’ve died and gone to Style Heaven. (yes, I said that. Style heaven.)

    #2: The Café Opéra

    Cafe OperaDo you like your fries with a side of opulence? Then Café Opéra is calling (singing?) your name! Located inside Bordeaux’s famous Grand Opera House, the lovely cafe is perfect to stop in for a quick lunch on the terrace or inside the chandelier-dripping main dining room.

    *        *        *        *

    #3: L’Autre Petit Bois

    L'Autre Petit Bois4

    L'Autre Petit Bois2…………….wine bars in Bordeaux are like churches in the Bible Belt: plentiful. But L’Autre Petit Bois is a stand-out that will leave you smitten. Not only do they serve a variety of local tastings, but the decor is unmatched. Chandeliers hang among the tree branches, furniture whispers of Baroque-style France and whimsical elements keep things fun and casual. Sip, sip!

    #4:  Bordeaux Cathedral (Cathédrale Saint-André de Bordeaux)

    bordeaux cathedralII

    BordeauxCathedral3Bordeaux features several stunning basilicas and cathedrals, all with their own charm and history, but the Bordeaux Cathedral (also called Saint Andres or St. Andrews) is a must-see. The Romanesque house of worship was originally built back in 1096 and has been continually renovated over the last thousand years. Dramatic interior architecture, including soaring rib-vaulted ceilings and pointed arches, will take your wine-infused breath away.

    *        *        *        *

    #5: Walk the rue Sainte-Catherine

    Rue-Sainte-CatherineI don’t know about you, but I love strolling through French streets. No purpose. No agenda. Just seeing what I might see. That means I’d love the rue Sainte-Catherine. Considered the longest street in Europe (1.2 kms!) it is lined with lovely shops, a fountain, a bell tower, and even a cemetery. Explore quickly, explore slowly, but take time to really indulge in all the little secrets that rue Sainte-Catherine wants to share.

    #6: Place de la Bourse / Place Royale

    Place de la Bourse

    place_de_la_bourseAlthough gorgeous during the day, with it’s symmetry and jaw-dropping architecture, Place de la Bourse (Place Royale) is best seen at dusk. That’s when the square, built in the 18th Century in honor of King Louis XV, begins to glisten. As darkness falls, the surrounding buildings (and famous fountain!) are illuminated, suddenly adding a touch of magic to the monument.

    The siren song of Santorini

    • A view of the town of Fira. Photo: Priyadarshini Paitandy
      A view of the town of Fira. Photo: Priyadarshini Paitandy
    • Boats docked at Nea Kameni. Photo: Priyadarshini Paitandy
      Boats docked at Nea Kameni. Photo: Priyadarshini Paitandy
    • The zig zag route to Thirassia. Photo: Priyadarshini Paitandy
      The zig zag route to Thirassia. Photo: Priyadarshini Paitandy

    http://www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/travel/the-siren-song-of-santorini/article5006806.ece

    Sweeps the culinary vote

    Blend of Local Food on a Plate. Photo: Sonia Nazareth

    • Blend of Local Food on a Plate. Photo: Sonia Nazareth
    • Serving Qahwa Outside the Grand Mosque. Photo: Sonia Nazareth
        Serving Qahwa Outside the Grand Mosque. Photo: Sonia Nazareth

    There’s much more to Omani cuisine than just sun-dried dates and fresh coffee, finds Sonia Nazareth.

    Oman’s reputation as a land of striking contrasts — of desert sands and azure seas — is as well-established as its reputation as a culture of boundless hospitality. Dates and qahwa (strong aromatic coffee that combines a rich blend of freshly roasted coffee beans and pungent cardamom powder) are central to any ritual of welcome.

    I remember people shaking their heads at me in despair, at a gesture so uncivilised, as my offering to pay for the aromatic coffee and sun-dried dates in the Bedouin homes I visited.

    The capital city of Muscat does the big city thing and offers a variety of international cuisines. But Khargeen Cafe is perfect if you want to try local fare rooted in tradition. The waiter in this low-lit atmospheric restaurant — with its trees glimmering with fairy lights and the music of sizzling kebabs — takes brisk charge to keep pace with the stream of customers flowing in, “You’ll be wanting shuwa, everyone loves our shuwa,” he declares with pride. This traditionally Omani and Eid-celebratory dish of roasted goat or lamb, elaborately cooked in a large fire pit dug in stony earth, lives up to its succulent juicy and exceedingly tender reputation. It needs to be eaten with khubz rukhal, a wishbone-thin bread as light as a feather. Despite the fact that we’re partaking in a meal of shuwa without the accompanying camel races, and dances by men with shields and swords that usually go with this festive food, it sweeps the culinary vote.

    The constant in traditional Omani cuisine, whether at home or at a restaurant, is all fresh ingredients and generous quantities. The one meal I ever partook of in an Omani household saw the table shifting uneasily under the weight of the feast upon it. Msanif (small patties of shredded meat, flavoured with a pungent coat of seasonings, covered in light batter and fried), Mishkak (bite-sized pieces of meat, basted in honey or date syrup, marinated in the juice of limes and skewered on date palm sticks); Samak bil narjeel (fish in coconut sauce). Besides being delicious in itself, the fish is a rich reminder of Oman’s sea-faring trade.

    ………….If scented candles could be made out of the air here, the candles would smell of an enticing mix of cloves, cardamom, cumin, cinnamon and black peppercorns. These spices when ground together are called bizaar. The man selling them, with pride written all over his youthful face, recalls a time when Omani sailors set sail with cargos of frankincense, horses, dates and copper to trade for spices, silk and porcelain……………………….Fresh dates may be boiled to a pulp and strained through muslin to make a honey-like syrup. This is then used as a dip or spread for bread. The pulp is added to rice and other traditional dishes.

    To eat or drink ethnic food as close as possible to its cultural context and in the vessels that were crafted for it can transform an everyday encounter into an extraordinary experience. But the feeling of cultural satiation stems from more than good food and drink. It stems from the generosity and kindness, which clearly makes any experience here more than the sum of its parts.

    http://theartoftheroom.com

     http://thedecadenceproject.com

    http://habituallychic.blogspot.in

    wallpaper.com

    lifehack.com

    lifehacker.com

    http://www.fromupnorth.com

     

     

    Flavors…..

    Recent fav flavors from flavorwire   http://flavorwire.com/414942/10-soul-cleansing-books-to-help-you-become-a-better-person/view-all/

     

     

    wild-cheryl strayed

     

    Wild, Cheryl Strayed

     

    If you’re one of the last people left who hasn’t picked up this book, which some have claimed is one of those rare life-changing memoirs, reading Strayed’s story of hiking the Pacific Crest Trail alone in an attempt to get over her grief and addiction is every bit as meaningful an experience as you’ve heard.

     

    buck-white

     

    Buck, MK Asante

     

    A powerful memoir of survival after things fall apart. The Zimbabwe-born poet’s story of coming of age in North Philadelphia with his father gone, his mother committed to a mental hospital, and his brother in jail, will help you realize that — even against the toughest of odds — you can make it.

     

    16115612

     

    And the Mountains Echoed, Khaled Hosseini

     

    Khaled Hosseini is one of the world’s great storytellers, and his latest work is full of love, war, birth, death, and reflections on the impact certain decisions can have on the future.

     

     

    0670849472.1.zoom

     

    Borges: Selected Non-FictionsJorge Luis Borges

     

    Obviously read his fiction, but there is so much wisdom to be taken from Borges’ nonfiction that as soon as you start reading it, you realize how much more you still have to learn about the world.

     

    9781590170700

     

    The Tenants of Moonbloom, Edward Lewis Wallant

     

    In this overlooked classic from the middle of the 20th century, we watch as Moonbloom grows from an awkward and isolated middleman collecting rent from his brother’s crummy apartments into a fuller, better person. Uplifting and page-for-page perfect; you should really seek out The Tenants of Moonbloom.

     

    ra027001

     

    Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman

     

    Who hasn’t felt inspired by Whitman’s — and possibly America’s — greatest poetry collection? A meditation on what is, but more importantly, what could be. Spend your day with this if you’re looking to recharge.

     

     

    9780300164985

     

    Essays, Henry David Thoreau

     

    This collection of Thoreau’s most famous essays on solitary soul searching and self-discovery in the Massachusetts woods is the perfect type of thing to read if you are looking to step outside your own comfort zone.

     

    9781604592337

     

    The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass, Frederick Douglass

     

    Very few life stories showcase the overcoming of adversity and oppression to quite the same extent as this autobiography of one of America’s most inspirational figures.

     

    The_Giving_Tree

     

    The Giving Tree, Shel Silverstein

     

    For those in search of something a little lighter, we’d suggest reading (or re-reading) this one, and remembering that Shel Silverstein really just wanted to make all of us — including kids — better people.

    http://flavorwire.com/415874/50-foreign-language-films-everyone-needs-to-see-1963-2013/view-all/

    http://flavorwire.com/415874/50-foreign-language-films-everyone-needs-to-see-1963-2013/view-all/

    http://flavorwire.com/418478/scandalous-photos-of-shameful-librarian-confessions/

    http://flavorwire.com/418437/11-ingenious-bookshelves-made-from-unusual-repurposed-items/view-all/

    the quotidian to the completely outlandish. Here are some particularly interesting ideas.

     

     

    jaguar-bookshelf-motart-

     

    A car

     

    [via]

     

    boat-bookcase

     

    A boat

     

    [via]

     

    21-Brillant-Objects-Made-From-Recycled-Materials-16

     

     

     

    Plumbing-2

     

    Your plumbing

     

    [via]

     

     

    king-tut-life-sized-sarcophagus-book-case

     

    That sarcophagus you just happen to have hanging about in the garage*

     

    [via]

     

    * Just kidding: it’s from SkyMall, because of course it is

     

    15892-612x612-2

     

    A staircase

     

    [via]

     

    skateboardi09_XDAmz_1822

     

    Skateboards

     

    [via]

     

     

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    An old ladder

     

    [via]

     

    Tardis-Bookshelf-l

     

    … and your, um, TARDIS

     

    Bonus: it’s bigger on the inside.

    http://flavorwire.com/418231/the-literary-worlds-most-fascinating-dandies-past-and-present/view-all/

     

     

    War and Pace, 1984 and Great Expectations are among the classic books Britons have pretended to have readClassic books in 140 characters – Telegraph.

       ( Few novels like Jane Eyre – love the work , but I feel the opening line is not sooooo  gr8 , and vice versa – loved the opening line but don’t feel like reading or didn’t like the piece of fiction  )

    ……………………..62% of people admitted they had falsely claimed to have read a classic literary work. George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four was the top choice for fakers, along with War and Peace, Great Expectations, Lord Of The Rings and Crime and Punishment.

    To make it just that little bit easier to bluff your literary knowledge in the digital age, here are the five books in tweet-sized 140-character summaries.

    CHARLES DICKENS: GREAT EXPECTATIONS
    Pip is poor. Wants to be posh. Old hag raises expectations that are shattered when he finds benefactor is a crook. Heart broken by Estella

     

    GEORGE ORWELL: NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR
    Big Brother controls all, including truth. Winston Smith falls in love, keeps a secret diary. Punished in Room 101 for ‘thoughtcrime’. Obeys

     

    JRR TOLKIEN: LORD OF THE RINGS
    Frodo and Hobbit pals take magic ring on quest. Gollum tries to steal ring. Wizard Gandalf is nice, Sauron is nasty. Battles. Ring destroyed

     

    FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY: CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
    Raskolnikov, Russian student, may get away with a double murder. Bit guilty. Confesses. Sent to a Siberian prison. Redeemed by love of Sonya

     

    LEO TOLSTOY: WAR AND PEACE
    Napoleon invades Russia. Russian aristocratic families sent into a tizz. War ensues. French retreat. Russians celebrate. Lots of them marry

     

     

    Fav excerpts from30 great opening lines in literature

     

     

    < > Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (1878)

     

    All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”Leo Tolstoy: Anna Karenina (1878)

    “In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. Whenever you feel like criticising any one, he told me, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” F. Scott Fitzgerald: The Great Gatsby (1925)

    Leslie Poles Hartley CBE, known as L. P. Hartley, was best-known for The Go-Between.

    “The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.” L. P. Hartley: The Go-Between (1953)

    Samuel Beckett's 1938 novel Murphy

    “The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new.” Samuel Beckett: Murphy (1938)

    J.M Barrie wrote Peter Pan

    “All children, except one, grow up.”J.M. Barrie: Peter Pan (1911)

    Henry James's Portrait Of A Lady

    “Under certain circumstance there are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.” Henry James: The Portrait of a Lady (1880)

    A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens was published in 1859

    “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.” Charles Dickens: A Tale Of Two Cities (1859)

     

    < > J.D Salinger's The Catcher In The Rye was published in 1951

    “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.” J.D Salinger: The Catcher In The Rye (1951)

    Jean Rhys wrote Wide Sargasso Sea

    “They say when trouble comes close ranks, and so the white people did.” Jean Rhys: Wide Sargasso Sea (1966)

    < > Elmer Gantry is a satirical novel written by Sinclair Lewis in 1926

    “Elmer Gantry was drunk. He was eloquently drunk, lovingly and pugnaciously drunk.”Sinclair Lewis: Elmer Gantry (1926)

    “I am a camera with its shutter open, quite passive, recording, not thinking.” Christopher Isherwood: Goodbye To Berlin (1939)

    “It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love.” Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Love in the Time of Cholera (1985)

    “Mother died today. Or maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure.” Albert Camus: The Stranger (1946)

     

    The shake

    Embrace the shake

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    pipteinpteron

    An artist discovered he could no longer make pointillistic work: instead of nice dots he drew strokes, like those violent, elongated raindrops that strike and hurt your face. When he found his hand trembling he’d used more and more force and the result was a neurological condition called a tremor. He went to see a neurologist and was told he had permanent nerve damage. That hurt. He only ever wanted to become an artist and now he couldn’t draw a straight line or a round dot.

    What should he do? Try and learn to draw with his other hand? Get medication to numb the effect? Start all over again and study something different? The neurologist had some advice:

    “Embrace the shake.”

    You can find the whole story on TED, illustrated with drawings and other works of art. I’d like to look at the advice to embrace his condition…

    View original post 234 more words

    related

     

    Vintage Indian Clothing

    fb3One of the most significant influencers of the way we dress in India was the freedom movement, in particular Gandhi’s thoughts on the moral dimension of clothing, the quest for an authentic Indianness and clothing as a unifier of India’s diverse castes and religious groups.  Central to this was use of khadi, even though or perhaps because khadi was gradually getting displaced even in India’s villages.  Women in the movement discarded their jewels, the hitherto fine clothing*  (for which Indians had always had a preference) for home spun khadi. If you spun it yourself on a simple spinning wheel, the charkha, all the better).  In Saraladevi’s words one decided to be “simple and common only”.  Purely as a clothing choice it feels like elegant slumming, the borrowing of the clothes of India’s poor by an urban elite  – were it not situated in a particular decade, that leading to…

    View original post 116 more words

    Jung and other picks from brainpickings

    Excerpt from What the Psychology of Suicide Prevention Teaches Us About Controlling Our Everyday Worries  

    Two surprisingly simple yet effective techniques for ameliorating anxiety. We must gain victory, not by assaulting the walls, but by accepting them, wrote James Gordon Gilkey in his 1934 guide to how not to worry. “Don’t worry about popular opinion … Don’t worry about the past. Don’t worry about the future. … Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you,” F. Scott Fitzgerald advised his young daughter. And yet we do worry — we worry about money, we worry about whether our art is good enough, we worry that we’re all alone in the world, we worry about almost everything. For Kierkegaard, anxiety was the hallmark of the creative mind, but for most of us mere mortals, worries are more of a crippling than a crutch.

    In Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception (public library) — which also gave us this fascinating explanation of why time slows down when we’re afraid, speeds up as we age, and gets warped when we’re on vacation — BBC’s Claudia Hammond explores the psychology of mitigating our worries:

    Ad Kerkhof is a Dutch clinical psychologist who has worked in the field of suicide prevention for 30 years. He has observed that before attempting suicide people often experience a period of extreme rumination about the future. They sometimes reported that these obsessive thoughts had become so overwhelming that they felt death was the only way to escape. Kerkhof has developed techniques which help suicidal people to reduce this rumination and is now applying the same methods to people who worry on a more everyday basis. He has found that people worry about one topic more than any other — the future, often believing that the more hours they spend contemplating it, the more likely they are to find a solution to their problems. But this isn’t the case. His techniques come from cognitive behavioral therapy and may sound remarkably straightforward, but they are all backed up by trials.

    ‘My Wheel of Worry’ by Andrew Kuo, depicting his inner worries, arguments, counterarguments, and obsessions in the form of charts and graphs.

    Click for details.

    Hammond makes appreciative note of the fact that Kerkhof “does not make grand claims for his methods.” Rather, he offers the open disclaimer that his techniques won’t forever banish any and all worrying — but they do offer a promising way to cut down the time we spend worrying. Hammond offers a practical exercise based on the technique:

    If you find yourself awake in the middle of night worrying, with thoughts whirling round repeatedly in your head, he has several strategies you can try. This is where imagery comes in useful again. Imagine there’s a box under your bed. This is your worry box. As soon as you spot thoughts that are worries, imagine taking those individual worries, putting them into the box and closing the lid. They are then to remain in the box under the bed until you decide to get them out again. If the worries recur, remind yourself that they are in the box and won’t be attended to until later on. An alternative is to choose a colour and then picture a cloud of that color. Put your worries into the cloud and let it swirl backwards and forwards above your head. Then watch it slowly float up and away, taking the worrying thoughts with it.

    …………………………..Instead Kerkhof recommends the opposite. Set aside 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening to do nothing but worry about the future. Sit at a table, make a list of all your problems and then think about them. But as soon as the time is up you must stop worrying, and whenever those worries come back into your head remind yourself that you can’t contemplate them again until your next worry time. You have given yourself permission to postpone your worrying until the time of your choice. Remarkably, it can work. It puts you in control.

    Iconic Psychiatrist Carl Jung on Human Personality in Rare BBC Interview

    “Man cannot stand a meaningless life.”

    ………………….Though famously accused of having lost his soul, Jung had a much more heartening view of human nature than Freud and memorably wrote that “the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” On October 22 of 1959, BBC’s Face to Face — an unusual series of pointed, almost interrogative interviews seeking to “unmask public figures” — aired a segment on Jung, included in the 1977 anthology C.G. Jung Speaking: Interviews and Encounters (public library). Eighty-four at the time and still working, he talks to New Statesman editor John Freeman about education, religion, consciousness, human nature, and his temperamental differences with Freud, which sparked his study of personality types. Transcript highlights below.

    Echoing Anaïs Nin’s meditation on the fluid self from a decade earlier, Jung confirms that fixed personality is a myth:

    Psychological type is nothing static — it changes in the course of life.

    He advocates for psychology as the most potent tool for understanding human nature and thus saving humanity from itself:

    We need more understanding of human nature, because the only danger that exists is man himself — he is the great danger, and we are pitifully unaware of it. We know nothing of man — far too little.

    But perhaps most timeless and timely of all is the interview’s concluding question, the answer to which arrives at the same conclusion that Viktor Frankl famously did:

    FREEMAN: As the world becomes more technically efficient, it seems increasingly necessary for people to behave communally and collectively, now do you think it’s possible that the highest development of man may be to submerge his own individuality in a kind of collective consciousness?

    JUNG: That’s hardly possible. I think there will be a reaction — a reaction will set in against this communal dissociation. You know, man doesn’t stand forever, his nullification. Once, there will be a reaction, and I see it setting in, you know, when I think of my patients, they all seek their own existence and to assure their existence against that complete atomization into nothingness or into meaninglessness. Man cannot stand a meaningless life.